Daily Wisdom
Daily Wisdom
The dividing line between fruitless rumination and productive reflection lies in whether or not we come up with some tentative solution or insight and then can let those distressing thoughts go - or if, on the other hand we just keep obsessing over the same loop of worry. - Daniel Goleman, Focus The Hidden Driver of Excellence
New Episodes Monthly
Choices!
Hi, I'm Michael Parkman
Regardless of the situation that you find yourself in you must remember that life is about choices. Too often we make poor choices based on nothing but fleeting emotions and find ourselves blaming others for the negative consequences that result from our choices. My aim is to help you to make better more informed choices based on timeless principles.
Read More
Contact Us
Services
Learn more
Daily Wisdom Blog
Daily Wisdom
A Succession of Steps… A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. – Lao-Tzu If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. Proverbs 24:10 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. - 1 John 4:1 We are often admonished in life situations to see the big picture. I would agree that understanding the big picture can be helpful. Just as it can be helpful, it can be a hinderance if we focus solely on the magnitude of the situation. Consider the quote referenced above “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” this is indicative of how we should approach life’s journey. The journey begins with a single movement forward, followed by another and another. Eventually each successive step allows you to reach the thousand-mile journey’s end. Our unhelpful thoughts of the length of the journey give leeway to discouragement and possible abandonment of the journey. Let’s break this down into our A. B. C. model: 1. Adversity 2. Belief 3. Consequences In this quote there is the thousand-mile journey (Adversity). We then transition to what we feel about the journey, it is long, tiresome, endless, and so forth (Belief). Finally, what actions our beliefs lead us to. (Consequences). Our problem is the big picture in this scenario. We focus on the length of the journey, add our judgments about the journey, and then we choose to act or not act based upon our judgments. If we accept that the journey is long, tiresome, and endless our subsequent actions will reflect this by our choosing to fight kicking and screaming throughout the entire journey or abandoning the journey altogether. There is a story about a dog who was leashed to a wagon, as the wagon began to move the dog was faced with two choices resist the pull of the wagon and be dragged along or willingly walk along side. Either way the dog was compelled to make the journey by virtue of the leash, the difference is in how he chose to make the journey, in tranquility or turmoil. If you change your belief about a situation, you then change the actions you take and subsequently your consequences are different. How do you change your belief about a circumstance? Use these four techniques to examine your beliefs: 1. Evidence 2. Alternatives 3. Implications 4. Usefulness What is the truth of the qoute? The journey is a thousand miles! Is it long? Long is a relative term, it is longer than a mile but shorter than five thousand miles. Is it tiresome, perhaps? Is it endless? No. There is nothing that can be done about the length of the journey for it is fixed at a thousand miles (evidence). There are alternatives to our initial judgments about the journey. There must be an internal realization that to begin our journey we must take a single step. To overcome the tiresome aspect of the journey perhaps we can schedule periodic breaks to refresh ourselves (alternatives). Our acceptance of the idea that the journey is endless is false, but our belief that the journey is endless causes us to falter. The idea that the journey is endless is refuted in the quote itself, a journey of a thousand miles (implications). This leads us to (usefulness). Are our beliefs useful at this present moment? The acceptance of the belief that the journey is endless is not only in error but certainly not helpful to the attainment of our goal, which is the completion of the thousand-mile journey. Keep in mind that our beliefs do not always equal truth! The quote from 1st John 4:1 says. “Believe not every spirit but try the spirits whether they are of God...” Try your own spirit first, for It is we who deceive ourselves more than any other. How is it that many of us would never consider lying to someone else, can so easily commit this same offence against ourselves? Remove the false impressions we accept of ourselves so that we may honestly begin to use sound judgment in all matters. Knowing others is intelligence, knowing the self is enlightenment. – Lao-Tzu If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. Proverbs 24:10 When you are faced with any adversity in life examine the event with the tools given you. Put your thoughts and judgments to the test. Develop and strengthen this mindset. If you can honestly take this step, and follow it with another, and yet another you will be able to withstand adversity and continue along the path to The Good Life.
Proverbs 22:6 ESV Train up a child in the way he should go; even when his is old he will not depart from it. When someone makes a perceived error in judgment, the refrain is; you should’ve known better. In reality, the person who showed the lack of judgment didn’t know better, or they wouldn’t have made the decision to do as they have done. We then proceed to judge them on their inability to measure up to our standards. We fail to understand that our standards are OUR standards and are not immediately transferred to another. If we wish someone to adhere to our standards, we must take the time to teach these standards in words and our actions. The most excellent teacher’s actions precede their words and are always in agreement. We must learn not to judge people from our standpoint, allowing people are at a different place in their journey of life than we are. Also, we must consider that we were once and, in many instances, show the same lack of understanding in other areas. What is needed instead of condemnation is an attempt to show the person their error and instruct them on ways to correct or prevent repeating the mistake in the future. It is easy to criticize after an action has been taken, but we often do not follow up with correct instruction. I must ask the question, what good is criticism if it is not coupled with correction? What good does your complaint do if you leave someone discouraged but give them no avenue to alleviate their discouragement? You should be willing to teach! Correct thinking, judgment, and actions are learned behaviors. If you intend to instruct, refrain from using the phrase “common sense.” If sense was common, then there would be no need for instruction. Instruction should begin at the place your student is, not where you are. The phrase, “I shouldn’t have to tell you!” is another prime example of incorrect instruction. If something was said or done in error, it was evident that the person who committed the mistake did need to be told. Thus, the statement is foolish because there is a lack of instruction. It also shows an unwillingness to teach. If something is important enough for you to become angry if it is not done, shouldn’t there be a willingness to make your expectations known? If you impart your expectations in the beginning, there is less chance for errors at the end, and perhaps less frustration. You are probably saying that I have taught this or that, yet they still don’t understand or grasp the meaning of my teaching. Then look to yourself, for if there is a lack of understanding, you should adjust how you present your subject. You should also be mindful that your words and actions agree. People closest to you see you in all situations; they observe you in public and private. If your public and personal life are not in agreement, your words will have little effect because your actions have the loudest voice. Training should be a constant for you as long as you draw breath. Learning and the willingness to learn should be a cornerstone of your life. You should be willing to hear differing opinions not with and ear to argue but to understanding. If you should be found in error in your thinking be able to adapt and change for truth is the ultimate goal. Should someone not acquiesce to your reasoning do not resort to harsh words and violent actions for it becomes a testimony to The Good Life if you conduct yourself in accordance with the fruit of the spirit. Galatians 5:22 ESV But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Every day you have an opportunity to practice these virtues. How long will you wait to train yourself become the best you can be?
Oft times, the question put to us is, what is your goal? The usual answers are related to job or family status, community recognition, public office, etc. All of these answers have one common thread; they all require the consent of someone or something else. Interwoven in this thread, but barely visible, is the fact that seeking this consent puts you at risk of abandoning your principles to satisfy your desires. The better question is, do you want to be somebody or do something? If your goal is to be somebody, then you must acquiesce to the whims of those who you perceive as being able to give you what you want. You are very desirous of a promotion at work; your supervisor has put forth a proposal that you disagree with, your supervisor has the power to grant you that promotion that you desire. Perhaps your decision making progress goes as follows; I think this proposal is misguided, but if I speak out against my supervisor, I run the risk of derailing my planned promotional assent. Perhaps I will just go along with his/her proposal to show that I am a team player! For expediency sake, and concern for your career path, you have just laid aside your principles in favor of your desire for promotion. With this transgression, you have now taken one step further into the abyss. Once you have given in to your desires at the expense of principle, it is much easier now to repeat this action going forward. Your internal arguments quiet down, and your justifications ramp up. A quote from The Story of Philosophy the author Will Durant who chronicles the work of history’s greatest philosophers, paraphrases Aristotle with the words “You are what you repeatedly do.” You are now double-minded and unstable in all your ways. The previous statement is true, no matter how you choose to see yourself. Do you want to do something? If your answer to this question is yes, you have to accept that you may be rejected, scorned, vilified, passed over for rewards because what you choose to do may conflict with the societal norms of the day. If you have selected this path, you have decided that what you do is far more critical than the random opinions of others. It is this for this reason that you persevere oft times in solitude because you believe in what you are trying to accomplish. Consider the great masters of art, Gauguin, Cezanne, Van Gogh, and Monet; the artwork of these men sell for millions of dollars in auction houses. When they were creating the artwork that would in future years sell for millions, their work was unacceptable to the patrons of the day. All of these men died in poverty. They had a desire for recognition and certainly a need for financial resources, but the lack of these things did not deter them from pursuing their craft. It could have been easy for these artists to conform to the normative art of the time for profit, but that would be to sacrifice the greater good, the maintenance of their artistic principle. I am not suggesting that we should die poverty-stricken, but I am saying that you have to stand for something even at the expense of creature comforts. There is a saying, “ if you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything!“ Strive to do something, for the lasting effects of what you accomplish, will outlast being somebody. For when you die, the things you desired die with you!